#32Fight Fears
By Annty | posted on 11 April 2009 | 7 comments
I am really scared of height. I just lose all my abilities when there is height.
One day, about 6 months ago, for some reasons we had access to the Royal Festival Hall's roof. The guys I was with were jumping around, and walking on the edge of the roof top. Like they would do on the floor... except there was a 7 floors drop on the side. I couldn't believe it, and freaked out just at the thought of doing it.
I approached the edge, first on all fours, then crawling, to have a look down. People were so small down there, like small toys, I felt like I could take one of them between my fingers... But mostly, I felt like I could never stand up there!!
On one corner, the roof was surrounded with a wall. That wall was about a foot large, and had a 10 feet drop on the inside, and 7 floors drop on the outside.
I was talking about my fear with my friend Blinky, who took it into his head to make me walk on that wall. At first I didn't even want to think about it... but I listened to him... there was no harm in listening to what he could say. Anyway I wouldn't do it.
He tried to explain to me that the drop was just a distraction... that it could never touch me, push me or physically attract me. The drop is there, but it's useless... Like when you try to do some balancing exercises and some guys try to make you fall by talking and distracting you, just to make you lose your concentration. All that is just in the mind.
The more he talked, the more I was getting in a strange mood, where I thought I could do it maybe... He made me breath in and breath out deeply, make space inside my head... and I saw myself approach the edge. Walking was a bit too much, so i crouched, and went on that wall in cat balance position. I reached the corner... Damn it, the second part of the wall is thinner... But I really can't make a half turn above that drop. I have no choice but to carry on. I tried not to think about anything but the wall, and the end I had to reach, which was not that far.
When I finished, my mind got back to reality, and I rushed away from the drop.
But I did it! I couldn't believe it! I really don't know if I would do it again, and when I think back to that day, I just think I was crazy... But maybe if Blinky is around...
Thank you Blinky for helping me fight my fear.
Labels: Psychology
About the Author : Annty7 Comments:
Awesome post Annty! Glad you beat your fear. Height is always a tricky one to overcome, but once you've done it you'll feel comfortable from now on!
Can't wait for next months post! ;)
By 
Andy, at
12:01 pm, April 11, 2009
Happy for you! :-)
Looks scary! Well done.
By Aaron, at
3:04 pm, April 12, 2009
I remember ! I remember your face when contemplating the challenge, and it when you came back down and had succeeded ! Pure disbelief and joy ! It was a great thing to see - kiss to you Annty.
By 
, at
10:33 am, April 13, 2009
Ah man, I like the look of that walk from the photo! I need to give that a go now... :)
By Andy, at
6:31 pm, April 13, 2009
Epic mental battle!! (I mean that in a good way)
I saw a friend balancing on a 3 inch diameter rail edging a car park building around 10 stories off the ground. The very thought of this even 2 months later freaks me out! Though I know if I was to try and I fell I would be able to catch myself on the edge. Still, this is not something I will try (ever?) without plenty of build up and practise on rails at lesser heights!
Does anyone else find that they lean away from the drop when balancing on a wall top or edge of a roof? Time reduces this as I get used to the distracting drop though.
Thanks for the inspiration!
Sam
By Sam Hight, at
6:27 am, April 14, 2009
I used to be extremly frightened of hights but one day I forced myself to climb about 20 feet up a tree and look straight down for a couple of minutes. Now I climb a 60 foot tree and climb down on a 9mm rope with no harness, Good job.
By , at
5:35 am, January 29, 2010
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